Practical Joke #2502 Hospital Humor on the Fly
English: The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Kapiolani Medical Center in Honolulu, Hawaii (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Ordinarily, I would not do or recommend doing something like this to a heart patient but since they reported that he was going to be just fine, was actually feeling better than he had felt in a long time, and was only in the intensive care unit being observed for just a few more hours …I took the opportunity with his family to have some fun and cheer him up!
Here’s The Story
One evening I received a frantic call asking me for a ride to the hospital about dinner time. I said okay and made a record dash 25 miles to pick up a friend of a friend who was worried because her dad was rushed to the hospital with heart problems.
When we got there we found out that the news had been a bit delayed. Walking into the waiting area I noticed there was about 20 people, all of his closest relatives!
They had just started letting them go into the intensive care unit in groups of 2 to see him. The nurse come out and said he was doing well, they opened up a blockage in his something or other and the worst part is over.
After the 2nd group come out the man’s wife said “My gosh with all of these people going in and out they have no idea who is who” and a brother chimed in “we should send a stranger back to see what happens.” I said I’ll go! and then as we were talking we decided to make it seem like the patient may be having memory problems!
I went in with the sister as the next group. As we were going back we shared details only someone close to him would know.
I went in with a look of concern on my face picturing him as one of my oldest friends. As I shook his hand I said ” How are ya Ron… I stopped by yesterday but no one was home. Paula told me you were there but you must have been sleeping… I guess we can’t go to the turkey shoot tomorrow after all”
The poor man went from a greeting he would give a stranger to a confused terror while still holding my hand in a firm grip. The wheels were turning in his mind. I could see the questions going across his face as he looked at his sister and then looked at me tightening his grip as if to squeeze the memory out. Then with a look of defeat, he looks at his sister and says I don’t know this man turning our handshake towards her as if to show her who he was talking about.
Promptly I winced my face and said in an exaggerated mouthing whisper across the bed to the sister ” He doesn’t know who I am!!! OUCH!” . She said ” Really? He has been over to your house dozens of times…heck I even know Stuart!” The poor man was about to lose his sanity and start getting excited so we told him it was a joke, insisted that it was his brothers idea, and laughter ensued especially pulling this one getting by the nurses, since this was an intensive care room. The family cheered our success as we recounted our story to them in the waiting room. Then we told the brother…for some reason he wants to see you next!! Oh well at least we were close to an intensive car room in case he got strangled for the joke!
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Everyone has a song
Image via Wikipedia
Everyone has a song but most people are afraid to sing it, mention it, or even dare to dream about it. So they listen while other people sing their own songs and never get heard. I’m no musician but I wish that I would take the time to be one because my song rocks hard and sets me free just from writing it on paper. My challenge is…What’s your song?
Here it is :
I WILL BE FREE
I am a man born of circumstance
I have dealt with the life given to me
Never once have I fell…. and not crawled out of the living hell
that sometimes life has handed to me
Now you’re standing there with that shitty grin
and you think that you’ve got it all over me
Well I’m not your chump or anybody’s punk…
and I will always be free!
- I’ll stand and deliver
- My soul will fly free
- Can’t make me shiver
- My soul will fly free
All your fucking rules
say what I can not do
but I’m telling you…
I will be free
Though- you-beat-me-down-
and- you- brow- beat- me…
I will be free
-I will stand and deliver
-my soul will fly free
-can’t make me shiver
-my soul will fly free
‘Cause I’m a man of circumstance…
I have dealt with the life handed to me
Never once have I fell
and not crawled out of the living hell…
That sometime life has handed to me.
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Climbing mountains while dreaming of beaches
Image via Wikipedia
Edging my way with ice underneath far above the crumbled rock below
I feel as though I may fall if I move yet I press on
I felt so overwhelmed when I was low
staring up to the endless top
Yet I stepped on
Up I go it’s so cold now
I feel the want to stop
but if I do I know that I’ll quit
And I may never reach the top
Oh how I wish that I was laying on a beach with warm sand
and the thunderous sound of water crashing close at hand
But I am climbing up farther than ever before
and I ‘d bet that the seagulls on that beach would see me and soar
Just a little bit further and I’ll reach the top
I must not drift off for I fear it may cause me to stop
But the kids are playing on that nice warm beach
And the top has been too far of a travel and out of my reach
Focus! I must press on
Climbing the last step I now stand
on something that I could not explain how grand
but the world seems small from where I do now perch
the top is mine…no longer do I search
beaches could not compare to the sweetness of this thin air
I am so high above the ground that many will never be
most people will not have this view
they will have to settle for a beach by the sea.
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Fear…the rush.
English: Cliff Diver, MAZATLAN (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My heart beats hard and I lose my will
set to the motion that I now feel
harder and harder, the noise comes
down to the bottom
here I come
will I still live when this time will stop
or did I take my last breath at the top
breathe… I must breathe its the only chance I’ve got
feel my legs…I can not
flying with force and shear raw power
not knowing now if this is my final hour
…So much I have left undone
I got to breathe…try to stay loose
can’t breathe its like I’m caught in a noose
A sudden thunderous crash but I’m alright
I’m shaking inside from sheer panic and fright
The crisis is over
No it was not my finest hour
yet it was as fine as that one will be
for I faced my fear today and it did not get me.
-2zpoint (an adrenaline junkie)
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Perfection
Perfection (Photo credit: unloveablesteve)
Perfection to some is the perfect day,
yet to others it is finding the perfect way.
Some say it is having things at the perfect time,
or it is best seen from being at the front of the line.
Most like to tell of those that play on a different level
or draw things so that others emotions can revel.
But perfection is what the best strive for and falling short makes us strive for more.
The one thing that perfection does is that it gives every one something to shoot for.
And those who would fall short are always in the best of company, for we all do,
because the best of us all are humbled too.
Trying is the only way to tell
and there is no limit on how many times to fail.
Perfection will come at the end of the day when you view yourself and say:
I did my best and gave it my all… and today,
I could not ask for more.
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My Embarrassing Hooker Story (definitely not what you think!)
English: Close-up picture of billiard balls (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Quite a few years ago I was a very good pool(billiards) player and have slowly started taking it up again.
Yesterday, I enter a pool tournament and the competition was fierce. As I was playing, many of the players seen me as serious competition and played very defensively.
When a player plays defensively they shoot the cue ball in such a way that it makes it very difficult for their opponent to make a shot just in case they miss what their shooting at and sometimes they shoot this way without any intent on making a shot. If they are successful and their opponent cannot even see the ball that needs to be shot in next it is called a “hook” shot.
I was beating players and playing very well.
After beating three players, I found myself playing a very well dressed woman who looked to be in her sixties and she seemed very determined to beat me. I watched her try to make every shot as though it was her last. She had a professional cue stick, a silk glove to make the cue stick slide across her hand better, and a very competitive nature.
During the beginning of the first game in race to win five games, she hooked me three times in a row! So by the third time I said to her “Gosh! I didn’t know I was playing a HOOKER! ” and she quipped “Well a girls got to do what a girls got to do!” so I said popped off ” Well at least your honest about it!” and we both laughed. We carried the banter on through the match until I finally I beat her in the end. She told me that I could tell the lady that put the tournament on that I was the winner and I said “okay “. That is when I decided to tease her one more time! I said in a very very loud voice, one loud enough that the woman could hear me CLEARLY across the room “YEAH CHEETAH I BEAT THE HOOKER!!!”. Cheetah, the tournament host, turned a deep red, grabbed my arm, and hurried me outside and said with laughing breathless exclamation ” Stuart don’t you know that she’s a preacher’s wife? !!!” I rolled my eyes and sighed and said joking ” That figures! Now I ‘m sure I’m going straight to hell! ” . The preaches wife was laughing hysterically at all my banter and now I knew why…the laugh way on me. We had a historically great time especially my new friend the hooker (pool hooker that is!).
And the moral to this story… If your going to tease others you’d better be prepared to laugh at yourself because it sometimes comes right back at you in unpredictably unimaginable ways!
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The Peach
English: White peach and its cross section isolated on a white background (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
As the warm breeze blows,
and the Sun‘s kisses come
the newness quickly goes
until the ripeness touches some.
Plucked from it’s place… the most perfect choice
with a golden yellow treasure
that’s true description has no voice.
The sweetest of pleasures nature has to taste,
guarded only by a fuzzy soft skin.
To devour in a moment of haste
would be such a sin.
In many ways, love is like a peach
often wasted in sin
Devoured in moments of haste
Guarded only by soft skin
It is some of the sweetest pleasure nature has to taste
and when you’re in it… it’s description has no voice.
Because it is a treasure
and only in it’s time and place is that love the perfect choice.
When it ripens …it touches all
kissing those that feel it with the warmth of the Sun.
Making lovers sway in the warm breeze of days that are done.
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